LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX

Lets talk about sex baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be...

SEX.
We're all having it, trying to have it, trying to find it, trying to get more of it, or trying to avoid it!

Whatever way you want to look at it, it's a different experience for each of us. Sometimes it's fantastic, other times palatable, for some it's mundane or just plain bad. Women spend hours on end trying to maintain their allure, nails, hair, clothing, shoes, perfume and the gym with no guarantee of good sex. Men are equally as obsessed with appearances in the quest to get sex.
Of course, not all people will admit that they have bad sex or even no sex.
There is of course the exception to the rule, mothers who get together with close girlfriends and cannot help sharing that they are just too damn tired from having a baby or caring for their children to desire sex. Most of us have even been here.
There are many people who are sick or suffering from a mental illness or disability who cannot have good sex, some people who aren't partnered up and don't believe in casual liaisons, or those who are just plain asexual.

Whatever your position concerning sex or lack of it, one thing is certain….that it affects your everyday life either positively or negatively.

So how can we navigate our way through life safely emotionally, physically and spiritually when it comes to our sex life? To help you, I’ve written an adults-only book, How to have an Affair and Save your Marriage.

The first thing that comes to mind is this, if its coupling up you’re after, you’re giving a precious gift to whomever you choose to give your most intimate part of yourself to.
This means you cannot take it back, and if you cannot take it back, then you had better be sure you actually want to give it away.
I've held this philosophy my entire life, and it puts a whole new perspective and meaning regarding our exchange of sex.

We all grow up being taught and influenced by those around us, our parents, caregivers, what is normal behaviour regarding sex.
We are shaped early on in our adolescents as to what sex means.
We can choose to copy our parents morals or lack of, or meet somewhere in the middle.
But whatever way we choose to sway, we must do what is right for us, not others.
So many people go against what feels right for them because of their fear of ridicule, ostracism, prejudice, bullying and judgements.
Sometimes for years and even decades, they hold their true sexuality tightly inside. This is terrible for your mental and spiritual health.
As a counsellor specialising in Sex I understand that it’s none of my business why a person feels like they are a male in a female body or visa versa, or whether they’re bisexual, transgender, homsexual, asexual, whatever it is. It’s no one else's business.
How could any of us understand what it feels like to be them? It is ignorant to even think we can see and feel their inner truths.
I am merely there to allow a safe haven for them to talk out loud about their feelings and desires, to be a sounding board and soft place for them to find themselves and their sexuality.
At the end of the day we are all spirits having a human experience, and what really matters is that we live our sexual truth without fear of ridicule and punishment.

Coming from a family with a wild sexual libertine for a mother who lived a polygamous lifestyle, and a father who was basically asexual but highly spiritual, I saw both ends of the sexual spectrum.

From my pubescent years I had already made my mind up to float somewhere in the middle ground between a libertine, physical mother and a spiritual, asexual father. A place that was not going to get me into trouble but still enabled me to spread my wings and fly a little.
Christianity held no weight in my decision-making about my healthy moral compass, despite my mother forcefully baptising me into the Seventh Day Adventist Church at 16. The whole thing wreaked of double standards to me.
I swayed more with my father who believed in the purity of the body and mind. Nature was where my father got his kicks.

Because of my experience of watching how my father coped with my mother’s many affairs, I decided to write a book about why affairs shouldn’t necessarily lead to a breakdown in a good marriage. My father loved my mother, and tolerated her libertine ways both for their marriage and the security of their children.

This gave me the courage to write my book…….

“HOW TO HAVE AN AFFAIR AND SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE”

The thing is, when you give away your body, your orgasms, your seed, your sexual essence, you give a piece of your DNA away every time.

To neglect the fact that we are exchanging our energies during sex can lead to contamination of our souls.
Sex is meant to be a beautful uplifting experience. It is a core function of humanity. It plays a huge role in our physical, mental and spiritual health. It is a powerful universal force that can merge your spirit (your divine essence) with your body.

Sex is involution (spirit descending)

and evolution (physical ascending)

meeting at the heart in an explosion of pure love.

In order to experience sex in this divine way, we have to engage with each other on a higher plain.

Life is like a deck of cards...one wrong or right move and you change the course of everything...

~mpowerusleeza~

Sexual enlightenment is completely counter to what our culture presents as the experience of sex. In modern society, sex is completely devalued and externally driven and focused. It's lost its depth, true value and meaning. We live in a world mired in greed, selfishness, fantasy and reality TV shows, we watch life from the sidelines as a "spectator" through porn and taking for granted the warm, human flesh we connect with.
Yes, you can orgasm this way but it is based on lust or self gratification, primitive animalistic urges, and is usually short and void of depth afterwards. Experiencing sex with each other this way takes us away from our soul and deludes our mind into thinking it was satisfying.
Soul sex is the only truth there really is. It takes us outside of ourselves as well as inside ourselves and each other.

Forget all the new clothes, jewellery, shoes and make-up; what's important here is your essence, because once all your clothes are left on the floor, that's all you've got to show for yourself.
This is why authenticity of oneself is the only way to experience great sex. Any kind of deceit, agenda or animosity will destroy your connection.

Role play for couples, dressing up in latex or having a fetish is all perfectly good fun and can help keep the spark alive too.

Spending time relaxing and shifting energies from another role to that of lover is extremely important. Showering or bathing together in preparation is a wonderful ritual for aligning a divine connection.
Essential oils such as... Sandlewood and Rose.
Once in the bath join your third eyes together, breathing for six inhalations and six exhalations.
Placing the oils on each other's crown, third eye and heart space will help relax and connect you both.
Divine sexual mindfulness keeps you in the now during sex. Practice looking into each other's eyes. Stay in the feeling of each moment. Drop into the visceral feeling of this experience.
There is no limit to how deep you want to go. For those who want to explore further, Tantra is a wonderful sexual practice that beautifully merges sex with your partner and your spirituality.

When you climax, practice drawing each other's energy into your heart centre. Feel the orgasm release (evolution) and simultaneously draw that bliss into your heart (involution). Visualize yourself and your partner joined inside a three-dimensional six-pointed star. It’s your scared place to fall together.

It’s important to remember in life that all things ebb and flow and we may find we have to compromise a little regarding what we desire in terms of how much sex we have.
Maturity comes into it, understanding our partners situation if she is pregnant or tired. Or maybe your male partner is often away! But whatever it is, what’s imperative is that you connect in other ways until you find yourselves able to engage in sex.

When your roll playing with your partner is performed in conjunction with your spiritual nature, it will hold the trust you need to explore each other's kinky sides.

Whatever your situation is and it really doesn't matter if it’s an open relationship or friends with benefits, whatever it is has to be consensual, healthy, positive and safe.
Safety is paramount, if you don't know a person very well then you really shouldn't be trusting them with your sexual energies.
Not only is it putting yourself in danger of your physical safety it is also putting your sexual health at risk. No sex is safe sex unless you've both been tested and there has been a 3 month window after each of your previous partners where no sex took place. Sex with worry does not equal great sex.

In conclusion, it’s you who decides how deep you want to go and with whom, and if you’re totally sick of boring vanilla sex, if you’re done with tasting so many different flavours in the hope of finding real depth and connection, then the only way to rise up to new heights is to be transparent, authentic, grounded, centered and open.

Love & Light

~MPOWERUSLEEZA~