SHARING MY SOUL….

Allow me to go back in time ... to when I turned 40 and I had a rude awakening as I climbed out of my marital bed, looked in the mirror and didn't recognise who I was anymore. I knew the face, the body and even the hair. But not the person. I was a ghost of my former self. My evil husband and his avaricious mistresses had stolen every last piece of my soul.

There was no denying that I was a walking corpse. I had died a hideous and excruciating death as my husband sucked out all my life force. I was caught like an insect in a spider’s web, as my husband, the spider, dug his fangs ever deeper into my very soul and stole my very being.

I had willingly "shared my soul" with my husband the way a wife should, except that I’d made a monumental mistake, a huge error and now I was suffering the consequences. When two people love each other, there should be a sharing of souls. In my marriage, it was just one way.

As I stood by the mirror, dressed in my negligee, looking at myself in the mirror, I wondered where had the tall, beautiful, happy and successful former model run away too? Had she turned her back on me and betrayed me also?  As I glanced at my feet in utter shame and despair, my head in my hands wondering how on earth I would survive one more hellish day, I decided what I needed to do was to get away!

"How on earth are you going to do this, you silly women?" I scolded myself. Having the responsibility of four children under 12, the youngest only five years old, this was never ever going to be an option; not now and not for the foreseeable future. As I sat in the dim light of dawn, totally at the end of my tether, digesting  my frustration and demoralisation, something quite amazing happened.

Suddenly a bright white light turned itself on in the corner of my mind! I wasn’t nervous, just surprised. It was the spirits descending and deciding that enough was enough. Those who looked out for me decided that the moment had come. Enough torture, enough humiliation, enough self-sacrifice, enough life lessons on what it means to love and be loved.

I may once have loved my husband deeply, but no longer. What was between us now was never anything resembling love, let alone the love which nourishes one’s soul.
It was at that very moment, beneath the brilliant flood of divine love, that I made the decision that I would cease sharing my soul with the wrong energy.

I would build a wall of protection. Then I would pretend I had everything I needed, that I was happy and whole, happy and healthy, whole again.  I would trick my own mind with the use of my feet, I would run away from my misery, no matter how hard the journey might be; I would run as far as I could until I was I lost. I would lose myself in the woods, never ever to return. And when I was well and truly lost, I would strip off all of my clothes and burn them to ashes. I would watch their embers float up into the heavens until they disappeared from earth.

Alone, or with another, there’s nothing more blissful for the soul than immersing yourself within the wonders of Nature.

And as I sat their naked, free and wild I realised I hadn't lost myself or my soul at all. In fact I had shed the dark and heavy cloak that my husband had draped across my wings.
I had become a pawn in my husband’s game of deceit, a puppet in his evil tragi-comedy, and today marked the day I had challenged him at his own game and won.

I was forty years old in human terms when I had this awakening, but in spiritual terms I was an ancient soul who had everything I ever needed to transcend his evil spells.
I picked myself up and flew home with the lightness of an angel and the strength of a High Priestess, and never again would I continue to share my soul with anybody who didn't respect and cherish it.

I would never again be led down the wrong path or covered in a cloak of darkness.
Through self-love, I slowly became healthier, happier, raw and organic, exactly the way I was born.

Sharing our soul is the most intimate thing we can do as spirits having a human experience. Every intimate exchange must be soul-enhancing and not detracting. As men and women, we come together and share our bodies and in an ideal world every exchange would be wonderful. In an ideal world…..but the sad truth is, that this isn't always the case.
As we share our naked bodies we also consciously, subconsciously and spiritually share our souls.

One cannot exist without the other, and to think so is spiritual ignorance. With every sexual encounter we have in our lives we leave a part of our DNA behind or carry around another person’s. Of course we must all learn and grow through each sexual experience but, if we remain mindful that we are gifting a part of ourselves to another that we cannot get back or undo, we can see the greater significance of each encounter. Every person we sleep with changes us, so it’s up to us to determine if it's in our highest good or not.

Of course not all soul sharing is about sex. It also involves friendships and our family.

You will attract the right soul for you into existence when you know who you are and what you desire.

Have you ever bared your soul to another, only to be shut down, reprimanded or even attacked? A wounded soul is more than just a momentary bad feeling, it's an extremely painful and debilitating ache from deep within, from continual mistreatment, neglect or abuse.

You must protect, nurture and cleanse your soul every single day. More importantly you must guard it and respect it. You must watch another’s actions, not just listen to their words when they are wanting our attention, our bodies or time.

Sharing your soul in a way that serves you first and foremost, is in accordance with your morals and values. It will allow you to stay centered and grounded.

You will attract the right soul for you into existence when you know who you are and what you desire.
Neither can we force any union; rather, we must allow the universe to send us what is right for us.
Even as a spiritual worker and High Priestess, I've had to learn to watch my words of magick and manifesting very carefully.
I remember standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean whilst asking the universe to send me what my heart desired. I rattled off at least five specifics in the partner I desired. Things I had wanted my whole life, and not your ordinary things, either. I repeated the manifesting or spell daily for a month.
And then, hey presto, there he was...  he wasn't close by, but I knew that he wouldn't be. He was just a short plane flight away. So we connected and spoke and eventually we met and it was everything I had ever dreamed of. We had a fabulous time.
And then, he left. He didn't commit. He ran away.
Did i except that!? Absolutely not, I was shellshocked, devastated, beyond hurt.
So what went wrong?
Didn’t i share my soul the way I should?
You bet I did!
But the thing is that "Soul Sharing" is reciprocal.
Yes, my manifesting worked perfectly, and I got exactly what I asked for. A country guitar "playing" cowboy. And that was that.
You see, when sharing your soul, you must also trust the universe and watch your words.
I learnt an important lesson that day; that instead of thinking I know what is good for me, I would instead respect the universe and ask it to deliver to me what was right for me, I obviously had no bloody idea what I wanted or needed or even how to ask for it, certainly when it came to matters of the opposite sex - and that was now abundantly clear.
If you mention all the things you "don't want" they will show up too!
We live and learn and pain is a part of life and each relationship teaches us something about ourselves, so there are never any mistakes; there are only lessons that lead us to something of higher purpose and meaning.
Sharing your soul takes guts and courage and some of us love with our soul more than others, you just have to trust the universal magick to bring your soulmate to you at the right time and place.

Love & Light
Leeza